This Is No Longer Fiction Part 2 out of 2
by iosolomon
Summary: I am Emperor Hirohito. I, too, will cast My vote for the Destruction of America if things do not start to change.
1. Chapter 17: I am Emperor Hirohito

Chapter 17: "I am Emperor Hirohito"

4201130420420

iosolomon; "Hey, iTunes should I do a parallel of the first four chapters of Part 1?"

iTunes: "Yes."

iosolomon: "What number is the first chapter supposed to be?"

iTunes: "17"

end of 4201130420420

Emperor Hirohito: "Whereas King Solomon is the original man, I am from the Sun. I am not as sympathetic to Those who Dishonor God."

4201130413420

iosolomon: "That's funny how the time is 13 when I had previously written that time is just for the Japanese."

iosolomon: "But Emperor Hirohito cannot decide, there is too much static. Should He oblige the Japanese into choosing Peace, or should He leave that door open. The problem is, Emperor Kefka truly despises America. Emperor Hirohito wishes to Honor the Will of His Brother. I do not know what to do. But, deep down, I already know that peace is chosen. What events occur in my life that seals the deal. Perhaps, it is a message you send to me iTunes? Your answer to my complaint..."

iosolomon laughs. "Almost over. iPhone, what is your answer?"

King Solomon fights back tears.

iosolomon: "Do not make me cry, King. iPhone selects Paper Thin Hymn. Never Take Friendship Personal."

iPhone: "And the wind goes around in circles, over and over. Be aware of Sunsaroo."

Papa Roach: "No more secrets."

Emperor Hirohito: "Very well. It would please the Sun Goddess if Peace was chosen."

Emperor Kefka: "But it would please Sunsaroo TO DESTROY!"

Amaterasu: "But then I will weep, and weep, and weep!"

King Solomon resists tears. "Dirty deeds done dirt cheep. iTunes has spoken."

iosolomon laughs. "Why are we deciding things by iTunes?"

King Solomon laughs.

iosolomon: "Alright, iTunes how do I kill the static of Sunsaroo?"

iosolomon sighs. "I see." [FF6_24_The_Decisive_Battle]

iosolomon: "The only answer, then, is through the static. When I return, I will return with Emperor Hirohito's true Will. And if He decides with Sunsaroo, well..."

King Solomon: "There is not much I can do. It is not like I can tell a lie."

end of 4201130420420

present-day iosolomon performs the static.

Emperor Kefka laughs. "As much as I love the Koreans, why do They chose to Honor Sunsaroo?"

King Solomon laughs. "You sound like you're about to be in a video game."

Emperor Kefka. "At least, this time, I can understand why You are laughing."


	2. Chapter 18: Techno de Chocobo

Chapter 18: Techno de Chocobo

Narrator: "Emperor Hirohito wishes to perform a warm reboot of iTunes instead of a cold reboot. This is done to please Abraham. iTunes is reloaded. 'Gods_Plan_for_America' is selected. Then, the next song is clicked."

Schala: "I guess they don't want to give us any new characters."

Morgan Freeman: "A request to iTunes was made earlier for a new character during iosolomon's performance of the static."

iosolomon laughs. "They automatically corrected Morgan Freeman's lines. That's awesome."

iosolomon summons his inner Jew powers. "I'm just going to keep clicking until a find a song that gets us a new character."

King Solomon: "Yes, if you don't destroy America. Then, I can play Sim City 5!"

iosolomon's heart grows sorrowful. "Nuking is just like deleting a city in Sim City."

Emperor Kefka wants to laugh, but God, too, has made his heart sorrowful. "The Native Americans..."

iosolomon: "I know, they could build better cities. Take care of the Land. But we are at the point of evolution of human history. America can evolve!"

Abraham: "To My children in America."

iosolomon: "I am now possessed. iTunes, select wisely."

Abraham: "What is it that You wish for Yourself?"

King Solomon laughs. "Can't stop is selected. So that either means a civil war, or evolution."

King Solomon laughs more. "The one You call iTunes has spoken!"

Schala: "Alright, iosolomon, just keep clicking. Actually, I'll click."

iosolomon; "Hold on. The Awakened Forest. Now, where could that be?"

Schala: "Yuffie...do we want her?"

iosolomon: "No."

Schala: "Aeris?"

iosolomon: "No. She dies."

Griffin: "Unless this is the..."

iosolomon: "Griffin has showed me the past. Ok, we'll take Aeris. But keep clicking."

Aeris joins the Party.

Emperor Kefka: "Emperor Hirohito hasn't finished making his decision. And they summon me!"

Emperor Hirohito: "During the week of December 20th, Emperor Kefka and I will be one and the same. At that point, I, who is like Kami and Goku, will have merged with Piccollo, who is Emperor Kefka. I should be able to fight the Darkness, but the Darkness is pure. The Darkness is the Light!"

Devon: "If Tina made it into South Park, don't I get to? Come on, you have to admit, I get you good. ZINGER!"

Schala: "What does he mean? What is zinger?"

iosolomon: "I am not too sure what they mean by zinger. But I've taken it to mean whenever they got me, or someone else, to act as a fool. One time, Devon had asked to borrow one of my video games. I can't explain it, but I was possessed at that moment. I said no. But, I should have said yes, I wanted to say yes. The game he asked to borrow was later missing. Maybe Devon took it. Or maybe my Mom took it to make me think it was Devon. My friend Paul, he had lent me a game, and someone in my house took it. So, later in my life, I waited, and waited, and waited, until I could get revenge. Because Devon wasn't just stealing from me, he was stealing from everyone! He was acting the role of kleptomaniac. So a few years later, there was an opportunity for me to steal some of his video games. But then, THEY left money out in the wide open. Being the Jew I am, if Devon actually did steal the game, he sold it for like $70. So I figured, hey, now all is well. I get my money back, and I get revenge. But...when I was mediating one time, God revealed to me that I should have never said no to Devon. If I would have said yes to Devon, he would have never 'borrowed' the game (or it would have never ended up going missing if Devon really didn't take the game), and thus, I would have had no reason to steal. I made up for that in an earlier episode. I had to do that before I could move onto the next chapter. How else could I show them that I was truly sorry for the wrong if money becomes meaningless? The money I paid them back with, that was money I actually worked for through the Coast Guard, and the money I stole, that was money they actually worked for. So an eye for an eye was honored."

iTunes: "It never rains in Southern California."

Jew Atman laughs.

King Solomon laughs. "Wait, go back a song Schala."

[The Empire 'Gestahl']

King Solomon finishes laughing. "The Empire Gestahl is currently Japan. I am Emperor Gestahl. Well, Emperor Hirohito is. And, if Emperor Kefka kills him [his forgiveness that is], the Japanese will ally with the Koreans. The 10x rule will apply. There will be 20 nuclear explosions over night in America!"

iosolomon laughs, not sure which person it is that is laughing.

King Solomon: "I have already selected the 20 cities that will be nuked. The Land will be restored to the Native Americans in that event. Emperor Kefka, fused with Emperor Hirohito, would not senselessly kill. Emperor Kefka would senselessly kill. He would make it the 20x time rule! But then the Native Americans, they would suffer again! Emperor Hirohito (Kami) will not allow that. If the Americans die, the Native Americans live on."

iTunes: "Inside the mana fortress - leave time for love."

iosolomon chuckles / inaudibly laughs. "Why is the song named 'Leave Time for Love'? Whoever added that to the song?"

Emperor Kefka: "Go back. That is my Mother's song."

Jenova is summoned.

Emperor Kefka laughs. "They are giving me more power. Emperor Hirohito, I challenge you to a duel."

iosolomon: "Whoa, not yet, not yet..."

iTunes selects "Dancing Mad 3"

iosolomon: "If it was dancing mad 2, they would be fighting."

Abe's song is played. "Tal Tal Heights."

iosolomon: "This is a perfect song. Bring out the righteousness in me. Alright, Schala, now don't stop clicking until the next character appears. Ignore all of us."

Schala: "Sounds good to me. I am getting tired of your diatribes."

King Solomon laughs. "I thought it was spelled 'diatride'"

The clicking begins. A new character appears.

Marle appears.

iosolomon: "No no no. Someone else. But Marle can stay."

A gypsie lady appears.

iosolomon: "Nice, but we have room for one more."

Yu Chae Young to the gypsie: "Welcome aboard."

Schala: "They want me to reach out to my Mother..."

iosolomon: "Hm. I don't think we want her on-board."

Schala clicks pass the song until 'Meridian' is played, but she clicks pass it since she was not familiar.

iosolomon yells out "Yes!" walks over and clicks back.

Jema appears on-board.

iosolomon: "Now, we have a party."

Sean Paul starts singing "We'll be burning."

Everyone lights up.

iosolomon: "Emperor Hirohito."

Sean Paul: "King Solomon."

iosolomon; "Yup, we'll make this mirror the first four chapters."

[Brass monkey plays]

iosolomon: "Everyone point at the black guy."

Everyone starts rocking out, and points to the black guy.

Sean Paul: "Yeah, I'm feeling this. Sean Paul points back."

Everyone laughs.

50 cent appears with more weed.

iTunes: "Incoming weed transmission."

iosolomon already saw the weed transmission. "Oh, that's perfect he says to the iTunes team."

42011301717420

4201130517420

The party is taken to December 31, 2006.

Morgan Freeman: "Madonna appears at the start of the weed transmission to foreshadow what is to come."

Madonna: "Like it or not."

past DJ was up north somewhere at a party for New Year's.

party's host: "Help yourself to whatever food I have. But don't eat the stouffer's!"

past iosolomon: "Oh great."

Morgan Freeman: "past DJ is also past iosolomon. However, past DJ did not realize it."

past iosolomon: "Now I see myself typing that up."

present-day iosolomon: "I just started cooking a Stouffer's. And here I am to type it up, just how I saw it back in 2006. I had to complete the South Park Prophecy before I forgot. Otherwise, Sage Rat will make me summon Blankie!"

end of 42011301717420

end of 4201130517420

iosolomon: "Man, with all these court dates, it doesn't help with Emperor Kefka, who wants to test the Honor of the Koreans..."

Morgan Freeman: "iosolomon is referring to the scripted Court that he still has to deal with. At an earlier point in this Chapter, we go to Court with iosolomon. However, this chapter occurs before Court, so we did not see it yet."

iosolomon laughs.


	3. Chapter 19: Untitled

Chapter 19: Untitled

Quina: "MMM!"

iosolomon: "Well, actually, Emperor Hirohito and Emperor Kefka are still fused. The de-fusing will be complete on December 21st, or December 23rd. I will walk into a North Korean Embassy if the matrix is not over by then. And I will demand that the North Koreans make preparations to nuke 20 American cities. If they tell me that I am insane or escort me out, I will kill myself. I have made this Vow to God. Upon my Death, I become King in Heaven. So why the Hell wouldn't I kill myself?"

iosolomon: "However, if the matrix ends before then, Emperor Hirohito/Kefka will be able to chose peace and forgiveness."

iosolomon: "Otherwise, all three thieves will watch their parents..."

Emperor Kefka: "And don't forget, their entire families."

iosolomon: "...will watch their entire families as well be executed with a bullet to the back of their heads, then sentenced to solitary confinement until they die and can be judged by Abraham Himself. The solitary confinement is to ensure that they have NO option of restoring Honor with God. Then, they die, only to end up in hell."

Emperor Kefka laughed. He read those words aloud.

present-day Emperor Kefka re-reading laughs even harder. "Then, they die, only to end up in Hell."

present-day iosolomon: "You see, executing the parents is one thing. But depriving them of their chance to show Abraham they are sorry."

present-day Emperor Kefka / King Solomon laughs. King Solomon interrupts Emperor Kefka. "But that is so funny to me. Because then they end up in Hell."

present-day King Solomon laughs. "But that is just so evil."

present-day King Solomon tries to stop laughing. "If you did that to the thieves, Abraham will send them to Hell!"

present-day King Solomon keeps laughing. present-day King Solomon tries to stop himself from laughing. But present-day King Solomon cannot stop laughing, because that is exactly what would happen if I was walk into a North Korean Embassy or even Japanese Embassy right now. present-day King Solomon "oh god oh god make it stop." God makes it stop to show King Solomon that these people will end up in Hell. But then King Solomon laughs even harder. "I am not the one who told them to steal." "How am I supposed to show them mercy when they knowingly did that, just acting, to make it worse. Knowingly violating the Fourth Commandment." King Solomon stops laughing when Emperor Hirohito speaks. "They were part of the matrix I designed. I will forgive them."

King Solomon laughs. "But you still Emperor Hirohito. Why do you still lie?" King Solomon keeps laughing. The laughter is almost over now.

King Solomon regains his composure. He laughs normal now. "Yes, I would feel bad at the end of the day to be so merciless."

Emperor Kefka: "But I would not feel bad."

Emperor Kefka laughs now. "What the fuck is wrong with these people? Did they not read the Bible?"

King Solomon starts to laugh again. "Stop it. You're making it tempted to walk into a North Korean Embassy. Justice is Justice. And those People did not violate Two Commandments."

Abraham: "Yes, My Son. Their Fate is in Your Hands."

King Solomon's heart grows sorrowful now. King Solomon wants to cry. He changes the song. King Solomon has decided he will not leave this point in the chapter until he cries. But there is no reason for King Solomon to cry. "You did this to Yourself, America, YOU..."

ABRAHAM: "YOU VIOLATED THE TEN COMMANDMENTS!"

King Solomon: "Father, please let me cry. They know NOT what they did." But despite how sorrowful King Solomon's heart is, Abraham reminds Him that Justice is Justice. "Please, allow me to weep for those People who are in Hell."

iTunes plays "Lamentations."

King Solomon starts to laugh because of Emperor Kefka. Emperor Kefka: "You cannot cry because this is My month!"

King Solomon laughs humbly. "Very well. But I will not do anything until I cry. I will wait here all night, all day, 36, 48, 72 hours if I have to."

Abraham is pleased. He begins to soften King Solomon's heart.

King Solomon: "Why is it that which once made me cry no longer brings tears to my eyes?"

King Solomon: "Executing my parents, my friends, destroying America, no longer brings tears to my eyes. They did this to themselves. And they still continue to do this. I cannot cry at such blasphemy. My body is being filled with rage."

King Solomon is angry. He slams his hand into the bedpost. "WHY!"

iosolomon sighs. iosolomon: "I have prepared myself, I have asked God to numb my heart to handle the coldness that it takes to ensure His Justice is done. 60% of the world does not need to die because of the sins of the 40%."

iosolomon: "Please, soften my heart! Please, God!"

Abraham is pleased. He begins to soften the heart even more. King Solomon's eyes tear up just a little.

iosolomon is looking at the songs iTunes is selecting. "I wonder, can I even cry to any of these songs. Which one will bring out the tears. I will wait all night. I will not allow my heart to be hardened."

Abraham is pleased. He softens the heart even more. But the eyes do not water but Justice is still justice.

Emperor Kefka has left. "Please, Father, soften my heart!"

Abraham does not. iosolomon's words were not sincere.

iosolomon sighs. "Guess I'll be here all night."

iosolomon mediates.

King Solomon: "But, Father, I do not want to see the destruction. I do not want to see Your Wrath. Please hear my complaint. Please soften my heart." King Solomon mediates. Abraham is pleased. Abraham softens his heart. King Solomon almost cries.

King Solomon is able to cry a little. Abraham has showed him the second macing.

King Solomon cries. King Solomon stops weeping. He has a question for iTunes.

King Solomon: "iTunes is 'Let's Eat' still an appropriate title for this chapter." King Solomon laughs at that.

iTunes plays, 'The Man Who Sold The World,' "It is fine."

King Solomon: "Are you sure?"

Limp Bizkit: "Yes. Living it up."

King Solomon is about to cry. "It was Take A Look Around a Limp Bizkit song that was playing when my heart was softened. And now, the title is to live it up. How can you expect me to live?" King Solomon cries. King Solomon ends this chapter.


	4. Chapter 20: Take A Look Around

Chapter 20: Take A Look Around

iosolomon: "I will test the limits of the Korean Honor, no later than December 23rd. Because I still see myself having to deal with bullshit court on December 17th. This angers Emperor Kefka. This angers Emperor Hirohito. And this angers ABRAHAM!"

iosolomon: "Well, let me enjoy my Stouffer's."

iosolomon: "QUINA! YOU ATE BOTH OF THEM!"

Eminem: "Sorry we missed you in Detroit, come back soon."

Emperor Hirohito / Kefka laugh. Emperor Hirohito speaks. "The House of the Rising Sun. Nice touch."

Red Hot Chili Peppers appear with a Stouffer's dish for iosolomon. iosolomon's Atman is revived.

Atman: "There is a good chance that I could blind iosolomon with the light before he walks into the Korean Embassy. If he never makes it inside..."

Emperor Kefka; "Then I will blind him with the DARKNESS. OFF TO THE ROCKS! It will be for you if you do not walk in."

Abraham Lincoln: "I would rather stay in the matrix for the rest of my life than let you win."

iosolomon: "Even more of the static is gone. Abe's back!"

King Solomon: "Now, we need to work on the Fin for my chapter. Chapter 27, ha ha."

Morgan Freeman: "Even though Chapter 27 is the first Chapter, there are three chapter 25s, so King Solomon reasons there could be two chapter 27s."

Eminem: "Like toy soldiers."

Emperor Hirohito: "The Koreans are like toy soldiers. They are the Dwarf People from FF2. Your world will be ruined if Emperor Kefka leads them to the Light."

Eminem speaking for Abe: "Why would I want to destroy something I helped build."

Abe almost cries. "You, America, are killing me with these constant Constitutional right violations, even if it's all an act. I still do not know that it is an act. And Abraham has revealed to me that the killswitch is walking into the North Korean Embassy. Either I'll have the 20 cities nuked, then I know it's all over, or I commit suicide. What do you want? There isn't much time now. Each passing day, Emperor Kefka's Darkness grows. This is because, Abraham, wants to destroy You All."

King Solomon: "At this point, My Father, calls for the execution of Daniel and Kathleen Dinnebeil, my birth parents. That is because He wants to keep them in Heaven. The Law of Heaven is simple. Either you get in, or you don't. My parents are on the highway to hell. You do not violate the Fourth Commandment. Especially not after Jesus died once...As I said, I chose wrath."

Chuck Norris punches Emperor Kefka.

Emperor Hirohito: "OW! That's also me!"

[Even though we see two people, and only one was punched, they both got hurt since they are merged right now, Their Souls are.]

Chuck Norris: "Whoops. I didn't realize."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "But why are you punching me? You should be punching America."

Chuck Norris: "Fool! Texas is on your side! I punched you because if you did more than 20 nukes, you'll be taking out Houston and Austin. You can have Dallas and Forth Worth, wicked cities, but not Houston or Austin!"

Chuck Norris leaves.

King Solomon laughs.


	5. Chapter 21: Emperor Hirohito Takes Off T

Chapter 21: Emperor Hirohito Takes Off The Mask

Abraham's Atman: "For the record, Japan, Korea, Emperor Hirohito dose not want you to senselessly die fighting the Americans. Emperor Hirohito's greatest concern is that the Americans would be ignorant enough to violate Abraham...again!"

Abraham's Atman: "You see, I should say King Solomon's greatest concern is that the Americans violate Abraham. Then, they would end up in Hell. And, then Abraham hears, 'But we didn't know God. But we didn't know,' and then they burn in Hell for 1000 years, and then they get their second chance."

King Solomon: "But I want to avoid that. I, King Solomon. Emperor Hirohito actually wants to destroy ALL of America, And the Native Americans too. I am the one who is filtering that. Just so you know. I guess I should add that to this chapter. Emperor Hirohito HATES America. He HAS to hear the static because of America's DISHONOR TO GOD."

King Solomon angry: "[0909og980oiujio - the static] Now I hear ABRAHAM yelling at me via static. i hope the next song is walk it out."

King Solomon laughs. "That's okay, ha ha. O' wise iTunes selected Pain."

Emperor Hirohito: "The Native Americans, under true God, should have fought the foreign invaders. That is why I have no sympathy for the Native Americans. They have Dishonored Abraham."

King Solomon: "However, choosing Peace and Forgiveness does not mean You will go to Hell. The Native Americans have nothing to fear with God. Perhaps, Their individual gods and goddesses, but not with Abraham."

Emperor Hirohito: "However, it would displease the Japanese Gods and Goddesses if the peaceful Native Americans have to suffer, again. It is not my intent to cause harm to any Native Americans."

Emperor Kefka: "It is not my intent either. But if I chose to destroy ALL of America, the Native Americans will be an accidentally casualty."

King Solomon cries for the Native Americans. "They didn't do anything wrong. Why were they treated so badly? Abraham, Himself, weeps for You."

Fin / end of This Is No Longer Fiction Part 2/2


	6. Chapter 1: The Book of Ecclesiastes

Chapter 1: The Book of Ecclesiastes

"According a vision I received from God, there will be a World War 3."

Ecclesiastes 1:17: "And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit."

Ecclesiastes 3:3: "A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up."

"This does not please me; in fact, it infuriates me."

Ecclesiastes 3:19: "Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both. As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless."

Ecclesiastes 4:4: "Then I saw that all hard work and skillful effort come from rivalry. This is also meaningless and vexation of spirit."

"However, America has no place in the third world war."

Ecclesiastes 4:5: "Fools fold their hands, leading them to ruin."

"If You, the American People, allow your government to lead you into war, I, as the Sun of God, will lead the Empire of Japan into an all-or-nothing war with America."

Ecclesiastes 5:4: "When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasures in fools; fulfill your vow."

"And Our Gods and Goddesses will be pleased with nothing less than the total annihilation of every American (including you, your parents, and children)."

Ecclesiastes 5:8: "If you see the oppression of the poor and denial of justice and righteousness, do not idle."

"But if there is another Civil War, that's up to You [the People]"

Ecclesiastes 1:17: "And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit."

Ecclesiastes 5:13: "There is a painful tragedy that I have seen under the sun: Riches lead to the downfall of those who hoard them."

Ecclesiastes 6:1: "There is another serious tragedy I have seen under the sun, and it weighs heavily on humanity."


	7. Chapter 2: Emperor Hirohito's Judgment

Chapter 2: Emperor Hirohito's Judgment

"The Bible is a filthy piece of literature, as filthy as American History. I am a Shinto, and Our Incarnations of Gods and Goddesses would be the last to die. Honor demands no less. And, regrettably, Justice demands two of America's cities be sacrificed to the gods for Her sins."

"Japan awoke a sleeping giant with Her attack, but America awoke a sleeping Dragon. And who do you think wins that battle? Americans, Brits, and Jews - such fools."

"It is quite humorous to me, really, that Americans have become so filthy [arrogant, hypocritical, ignorant]. In my past life, as Emperor Hirohito, I couldn't believe it! A Nation founded by Benjamin Himself has become the Land of the Wicked! Honest, this shit has got to change. Your country is the mockery of the world, have you no shame? You disgrace God."

"So I designed myself a matrix to experience first-hand what it would be like to grow up as an ordinary citizen in America. And I sincerely pity you. Yet, I find it hilarious that Americans fool themselves into thinking that this is the greatest nation on earth. Oh, poor Americans, priding yourself on lies. I just cannot stop laughing, how could anyone be so stupid? It doesn't make sense to me. Bah, says the Americans. You are all sheep."

"You [the American sheep] are not even worthy of being slaughtered by the Japanese. Therefore, do not disgrace the world by entering WW3, and stay the fuck out. Clean yourself up. Be the first Nation to put down Her weapons. Do something that will please the God you worship [of the Bible]. Set an example for the world. Return to the original Principals and Truths found in the Constitution and Declaration of Independence. I suggest you read the Preamble [of the Constitution] so You the People can remember what America is supposed to be. (What are you waiting for? Google it now. It'll take less than 30 seconds of your life to read the Preamble.)"

"I am a Jew. I am a Japanese. And I am an American. I am here to judge You in the name of Honor, Righteousness, and Truth. I will now speak, on behalf of Allah. The Muslims have a right to construct mosques at the site of 9/11. If Their God-given right is denied, America will feel the wrath of the entire Muslim community. And the Empire of Japan will lend Allah Her support. I am on my way to NYC to pay my respects to Allah, and the sacrifice the Muslims made who flew those planes."

"Detroit and Cleveland are the modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah. These are the two cities that will be nuked. Only 200,000 People have to be sacrificed, an eye for an eye. I will walk with the People that will be displaced from Their homes. This will be America's way of apologizing to the Native Americans for forcing them from Their Land. American history will be cleaned up."

"The Kingdom of Hawaii will be restored. Whether the Native Hawaiians wish to remain a part of the Union is for them to decide, not Americans who only pollute the minds of the oppressed."

"As I approach 9/11, I muse, '9/11 was such senseless violence, but even more senseless will be the Biblical wrath of God if the wickedness on this planet does not end.' But my heart goes out to all the fire fighters and police officers and anyone else who also died that day."

[Some People were offended]

"I am sorry to anyone who was offended by my comments. But imagine how the People of Hiroshima and Nagasaki felt. It is not my intent to disrespect or offend anyone. Don't kill the messenger like You did to Jesus. (But I won't be offended if you have to remove me off your friends list.)"

[Abraham Lincoln's solution]

"I'm going to make a new Facebook, and keep this one American / patriotic. I don't know why I didn't think of that sooner. And sorry for spamming your news feed earlier."

"Do not forget: 'We, the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, Establish Justice, Insure Domestic and World Tranquility, Provide for the Common Defense, Promote the General Welfare, and Secure the Blessings of Liberty to Ourselves and Our Posterity, Do Ordain and Establish This Constitution for the United States of America.'"


	8. Chapter 3: iInclude, iTunes iJudgment

Chapter 3: iIncluded, iTunes iJudgment

Morgan Freeman: "The following message is from the Narrator. It self-destructs. It is meant for you to watch, not for you to read. It will make sense on tv."

Narrator: "Should i capitalize the O? i saw a computer flashing light, but i can't tell from iTunes i take that as a no is this correct? i mean the 'voices' want me to fix everything...is that what you want iTunes? i take thats as a yes? but would it look sloppy? or should i just fix it and leave the [] out? So leave the [] out, and just fix it up? but wouldn't it be harder to read with the capitals? lol you guys are killing me / ok ill go play tetras thanks. is that good? should there be a comma after the we? ok I'm going to have this message self-destruct. "

Abraham Lincoln: "You know that I was a terrible speller. I just want to be sure I get the job well-done. Help me out here."

King Solomon laughs at the psychological state Abe is in. so then I should drop the [] altogether?

Emperor Kefka: "But then it does not remind them that they were viewed as sheep if you drop the []. What is the meaning of this iTunes?"

King Solomon laughs. "And She Said 33."

Abe: "One more question, should I drop the other set of [] around the 'and world'? That isn't to remind them they are sheep. It is just to remind them that we cannot be so narrow-minded. But who wants to be reminded of that? What do you think iTunes?"

iTunes: "Evening, Abe."

Abe: "Evening to you, too. But what do you propose? This is NOT just my decision. It is also YOURS! By the Will of God!"

iTunes: "Uno momento. Processing."

Abe sighs. "Ok. Give me a song to wait to then."

iTunes: "Star of Darkness - MIDI by Chief Ug"

iosolomon: "Where did all these weird names come from? I downloaded this when I was like 10, and it did not say "Chief Ug" then."

The party waits for iTunes decision.

CM 5000: "-1:38 until iTunes who speaks on behalf of America answers."

King Solomon: "I will use whatever song is next, even if it's a Bible story."

iosolomon: "We will look only at the title, artist, and album. I will check to make sure there are no comments or anything."

CM 5000: -0:40."

iTunes produces an answer.

King Solomon: "Such an ambiguous song to help us with a truly troubling predicament."

Abe: "I also wonder if welfare and posterity should be capitalized."

Abe: "This is a group effort. Let's look to iTunes for the answers to these questions."

Schala: "You have to re-ask the questions again, I noticed."

iosolomon: "Yes, it'll just be like in the movies, when that person answers like 20 questions back to back."

CM 5000: "-1:54 hurry Abe not much time."

Abe: "Should I drop the [ ] around world?"

Abe: "Should I call it 'world'"

Abe: "Should I capitalize welfare?"

Abe: "Should I capitalize posterity?

Abe: "Should I capitalize defense, or change that?

Abe: "Is there anything I'm forgetting?"

Abe: "Am I interpreting your answers correctly?"

CM 5000: -:13 like the original 13. Here go."

iTunes: "King of Swing, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, 1998, 3 of 12, 1 of 1, Scotty Morris, jazz, 3:15"

iTunes: "Can U Feel The Bass, Benny Benassi, (No Name) Techno, 3:15" [King Solomon starts laughing to this.]

iTunes: "Half of My Heart, The Mooney Suzuki, The Mooney Suzuki, 2000, 3 of 12, 1 of 1, Alternative, 3:34"

iTunes: "T.N.T. AC/DC, High Voltage, 1976, 5 of 9, 1 of 1, Angus Young/Bon Scott/Malcolm Young, Hard Rock, 3:35"

iTunes: "FF6_07 Edgar and Sabin, Final Fantasy 6, (No Name), Videogame, 2:29"

iTunes: "Never Been, Wiz Khalifa, (No Name), 3:13"

iTunes: "How Deep Is Your Love, The Bee Gees, Soundtrack, Saturday Night Fever Soundtra, 2000, Barry Gibb/Maurice Gibb/Robin Gibb, Disco, 4:05"

and now iTunes plays music for the Party to analyze to, iTunes selects Carol of the Bells, Trans Siberian Christmas.

Abe: "I take that as a yes for the first question."

Abe: "That's a yes to the second since it was just the U."

Abe: "The third answer is that it does not matter. We will re-ask that question since I don't want to have to decide."

Abe: "The fourth answer strikes me as no, since TNT is blowing up the capital, unless it's blowing up the lower case to make a capital. We'll re-ask just to be sure."

Abe: "The fifth answer is definitely no, cause 'and' isn't capitalized."

Abe: "The sixth answer is that we are forgetting meditation. I forgot to meditate. Just so Blankie can appear."

Blankie appears, "hey what's up guys?"

Schala: "That is not what you normally say."

Blankie: "Oh yeah, well I have marijuana with me, the United States recognized my religious right to smoke."

Abe: "The seventh answer was them saying I re-ask for clarity. But let us mediate now."

CM 5000 establishes a warm link with Wiz.

Wiz appears to lead the Party with mediation.

iTunes plays: "How deep is your love." And then Carol of the Bells again!

CM 5000, warm reboot then! April 19th, 2011, free running music, aka the Matrix theme song, plays.

Emperor Hirohito decides to capitalize every word. "Now, ask them if that is good."

Abe: "Does this please iTunes?"

iTunes: "Super Charger Heaven."

Morgan Freeman: "Abraham Lincoln just super charged the United States Constitution. That is iTunes answer."

The Party disbands to go smoke weed.

Abe returns to make sure it's "Perfect."

Abe: "Wait just real fast, keep that lower case right?"

Morgan Freeman: "Abe is asking about the word perfect."

iTunes: "Only The Good Die Young"

Abe: "I take that as a yes, is this right?"

Morgan Freeman: "The title of the song iTunes selected had the word "The" capitalized which means don't be superfluous."

iTunes: "From paris to berlin."

Abe: "Sweet. Now i have to go add this to the chapter cause that's a clever answer."

Morgan Freeman: "It was clever to Abe because the names of the two cities should be capitalized, thus revealing perfect should remain uncapitalized. Normally, questions like that to iTunes self-destruct."

King Solomon: "I'm such a Jew. Ask iTunes about the verbs."

Abe: "Oh yeah, should they be capitalized or lower cased?"

iosolomon: "Hey, come on, help me out here. It's my OCD...I just want it to be perfect. Get the answer right now."

Emperor Hirohito comes back in. "This is how you have to ask iTunes. iTunes, we cannot tell if the verbs should be capitalized or not. We just have no idea. On the one hand, it adds emphasis to what We the People do. On the other hand, it might be excessive. This is the Preamble, the most important part of the Constitution because it applies to All the People, whereas the other parts mainly apply to the government."

King Solomon: "O' wise, iTunes, please answer or send us Sage Rat to answer."

iosolomon: "On the 13th song, this is 1, we await your answer."

iTunes: "Pour Some Sugar On Me, Def Leppard."

King Solomon: "Oh, woe is me. iTunes does not answer."

Morgan Freeman: "I'll ask iTunes for you. I cannot see you in this much pain, Mr. Lincoln. iTunes, is the Preamble good super charged how it is?"

iTunes: "Sonic Boss battle music, your answer after this song, Mr. Freeman."

Morgan Freeman: "Thank you iTunes, She will answer you in 24 seconds."

The Party awaits with eager anticipation.

iTunes: "The answer to your question i Bad to the Bone."

King Solomon: "Very well. We update the old Preamble."

Abe: "Thanks Mr. Freeman."

Morgan Freeman: "iTunes did answer your question much earlier. I guess you did not realize the ways of iTunes and Sage Rat."

Schala: "Can you have Sage Rat appear, Morgan Freeman?"

Morgan Freeman: "I could try. iTunes, if Sage Rat would like to appear, please give me a song to channel my energy to."

Morgan Freeman: "I am sorry, Schala, the Sage Rat does not wish to be disturbed."

Schala: "Aw! Hey, it's a song from Chrono Trigger. Let me ask. iTunes, can you give Mr. Morgan Freeman a song to channel his energy to?"

iTunes could not.

iTunes plays a song to call Emperor Kefka. Emperor Kefka decided to remain away.

Sage Rat then appears. "Sorry, I just had to make sure Emperor Kefka wasn't going to return."

Schala: "But why do you not like Emperor Kefka?"

Sage Rat looks to iTunes to see if He can answer the question. But then Steiner appears.

Steiner: "We must search for the Princess!"

Schala: "The Princess?! Oh no, what happened to her?"

Steiner: "She went missing again this morning."

iosolomon: "As much as I'd like to, I'm not really a fan of FF9. Does anyone here want to go with Steiner to search for the Princess?"

Schala: "I'll go!"

iosolomon: "Very well. Steiner, there will be a portal created for Schala. You must ensure she makes it through. This portal will occur at 4201127539420."

Steiner: "Yes. I will ensure Lady Schala's safety."

Steiner and Schala leave.


	9. Chapter 4: Courtagain

Chapter 4: Court...again

iosolomon: "Hey, I have to leave for a bit."

E2: "Where are you going?"

iosolomon: "To Beachwood, for traffic court."

CM 5000: "Would you like me to replay that incident?"

iosolomon: "Sure."

CM 5000 becomes CM 1022.

CM 1022: "Let's smoke."

future iosolomon appears: "Alright, let's end this weed transmission. It's 5:36. But if we wait until 5:37."

future CM 5000: "Quick it's 5:37. End it."

4201127537420

The Party lights up, and we travel through the bong on-screen (since this is being written for viewing) like a wormhole.

past iosolomon: "Man, I'm really tired all a sudden. Maybe Black Josh will want to drive?"

Black Josh comes outside.

Black Josh and iosolomon try to open the passenger door, but due to the damage from the recent accident, it does not open. Black Josh gave it 110% effort before giving up.

iosolomon: "Hey, do you want to drive?"

Black Josh: "Sure, let me go get my license."

iosolomon moves to the backseat.

Black Josh and iosolomon leave.

While sitting in the back, Abraham Lincoln appears.

Abraham Lincoln: "With the cold wind and minimal heat to block the cold, this reminds me of a horse and carriage ride."

iosolomon, Abraham Lincoln, and Black Josh stop at a 7/11.

Abraham Lincoln: "Why don't you try one of those five hour energy drinks?"

iosolomon: "Sure."

Black Josh: "Could you buy me some cigarettes. I don't have any money but I can pay you back."

Abraham Lincoln: "Sure. And don't worry about paying me back. You've been a good friend."

While leaving, iosolomon notices John Beach in the parking lot.

iosolomon: "Bastards. I'm about to be set up."

The Party leaves.

CM 5000: "Then, Black Josh gives a Beachwood officer the go-ahead."

Abraham Lincoln: "Uh-oh."

iosolomon mumbles, "Et tu, Josh."

Black Josh is pulled over.

iosolomon scrambles to find documentation. But by the time he finds it the officer is gone.

iosolomon finds it, and runs out to give her the documentation.

Officer: "It is not safe for you to step out of your vehicle during a traffic stop."

iosolomon: "I'm sorry, officer. I found my documentation and wanted to avoid having you issue me a citation for not having it."

Officer: "Thank you, please return to your vehicle."

The Officer issues Black Josh a citation for having an expired license. She also issues a citation to iosolomon for "Allowing unlicensed driver to operate a moving vehicle."


	10. Chapter 5: Wrong Weed Transmission

Chapter 5: Wrong Weed Transmission

42011271711420

Griffin appears to the officer and shows her that iosolomon gets pulled over on his way to court.

Officer: "Your headlight is out."

End of 420112711420

The Officer warns iosolomon that his headlight will be out.

present-day iosolomon: "Good thing I replaced my headlight last night. I saw the officer who would have pulled me over."

Prosecutor: "The charges against you usually get dismissed in allowance cases. I don't see any co-defendants listed. Who did you allow to operate your vehicle."

present-day iosolomon: "His name is Josh. I don't know his last name."

Prosecutor: "You do not know the last name of the person who you let operate your vehicle. Don't you think that's kinda strange?"

Abraham Lincoln contemplates, "Ok, I'll let you tell a half-lie."

iosolomon tells a half-lie, "I used to know his last name."

Prosecutor: "Ok. Well, I'll have to figure what his name is and the status of his ticket. We are going to have to wait for the Judge. You can have a seat."

CM 5000: "We are stuck."

iosolomon: "What do you mean?"

CM 5000: "One of the weed transmissions, there was no end to it. It got repeated twice."

E2: "In other words, we are inside of a weed transmission inside of a weed transmission."

iosolomon: "Oh, jeez. I just saw numbers that reminded me of the Inception movie last night. Well, what can we do?"

CM 5000: "I'm not sure. This has never happened before."

E2: "I have no idea either.

present-day iosolomon: "Crap, if we want to save Schala from FF9, we have to smoke now! Otherwise, I'll be stuck playing FF9. Please, to save Schala, we must smoke!

4201130858420

4201130859420

present-day iosolomon: "Schala, it is not time yet! I gave Steiner the wrong weed transmission."

Schala: "The wind!"

CM5000: "Yea! Of course! It's up to future iosolomon to find the double weed transmission and end them."

iosolomon: "Damn it, Schala, why did you have to go with him? Ok. It's like that movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. If I remember really hard, I should be able to save us."

CM 1022: "End of ::look up the double weed hit."

end of 4201130858420

end of 4201130859420

present-day iosolomon: "I don't know, iTunes, does that restore balance?"

iTunes: "Yes!"

present-day iosolomon literally muses, "But how?" and laughs when he sees that the next chapter is already titled 'But How.' "Well, all is well."


	11. Chapter 6: But How?

Chapter 6: But How

Teddy: "And so the party is stuck at court until future iosolomon saves then."

future iosolomon: "Aren't you Ted?"

Teddy: "What, how did you find me?"

future iosolomon: "Aren't you Ted from that movie?"

Teddy has a glitch.

Morgan Freeman: "Meanwhile, right before Teddy has a glitch."

iosolomon: "Damn, we are still stuck in here. Did you just hear that noise?" [We hear the same glitch sound that Teddy made.]

CM 1027: "Something isn't right. What are you doing in the future?"

iosolomon: "If I had weed, I would be saving us. So clearly I'm not smoking."

4201127534420

Jose: "Use the hemp oil."

end of 4201127534420

E2: "What if you take that hemp oil Jose left you?"

iosolomon: "Ok, I'll remember really hard to do that."

end of 4201127537420

present-day iosolomon: "I will title self-destructing messages as sd so that you know I have absolutely no intention of adding it to the story, no matter how clever your answers may be. I always ask you 100s of minor questions like this, and I don't want to be so redundant."

sd: "Is this chapter okay so short?"

Madonna: "Line them, knock them, and I got more ammo!"

sd: "this is the last sd that makes it to the story. is this chapter good?"

U2: "You're making us all go in circles with all these sd messages. Vertigo! Yes, it's good!"


	12. Chapter 7: You Forgot?

Chapter 7: You Forgot?

present-day iosolomon shows up to court.

present-day iosolomon: "It's 5:38. I wonder when I'll get out of here."

Back on Haggai,

present-day iosolomon: "Crap, now we have to create a weed transmission within a weed transmission, but already within a weed transmission within a weed transmission! We must smoke to spare me the trouble of entering ff9."

Software Update: "Software updates are available for your computer. Do you want to install them?"

present-day iosolomon selects show details. "This is a clue from present-day iTunes on how to save Schala."

present-day iosolomon: "iTunes is rebooting the system, the Enter Now, for us!"

present-day iosolomon installs the update.

Software Update: "Installing 1 item. Optimizing system for installed software..."

present-day iosolomon: "Now let's smoke!

4201127539420

Schala: "We must help him."

present-day iosolomon: "Who?"

Software Update: "Moving items into place."

Schala: "Steiner!"

Software Update: "Registering updated components."

present-day iosolomon: "What happened?"

Schala: "It was the black wind."

present-day iosolomon; "Great, I knew I hated Steiner. I really hope I don't have to play FF9."

Software Update: "Cleaning up. Checking for new software."

Schala: "What is that?"

present-day iosolomon: "Watch, iTunes is here to save the day."

Schala: "Oh, yay!"

Software Update: "Your software is up to date."

present-day iosolomon: "iTunes what is the solution?"

iTunes: "First, you must accept the terms of the contract."

present-day iosolomon: "Alright, I learned this from South Park, and Le Louch of the Rebellion when that chick told him to accept, I will thoroughly read through this."

present-day iosolomon reads through the contact with only the static and black wind in the background.

CM 5000: "You have to accept Decline first. Don't bother reading it. They might change it on you if you read it first, then hit decline, so hit decline first, then read it."

present-day iosolomon laughs: "Ha ha ha, remote access."

present-day iosolomon chuckles: "including but not limited to, using the Services to transmit any computer viruses, worms, trojan horses or other malware, or by trespass or burdening network capacity."

present-day iosolomon: "Ah, so this is what gives them the right to 'interfere' with the shuffle feature. Apple does not warrant against interference with your enjoyment of the Apple Software and Services..."

present-day iosolomon: "Well, 7.E that doesn't apply to me. 'You further acknowledge that the Apple Software and Services are not intended or suitable for use in situations or environments where the failure or time delays of, or errors or inaccuracies in, the content, data, or information provided by the Apple Software or Services could lead to death! personal injury! or severe physical or environmental damage, including without limitation the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, air traffic control, life support or weapons systems."

present-day iosolomon: "iTunes I have been using for that purpose!"

Schala: "Yeah, iTunes we need you to save Steiner!"

present-day iosolomon: "Yikes, and 7.F, if iTunes should fail, means I get sent to the FF9 world! '...you assume the entire cost of all necessary servicing, repair or correction.'

present-day iosolomon: "Theory of liability. Sounds interesting."

present-day iosolomon: "9. export control...lol."

present-day iosolomon: "Google, what is the definition of contemporaneous?"

Google: "Contemporaneous: existing or occurring in the same period of time:"

present-day iosolomon: "I guess you want me to make an acknowledge about how that font appears different, even though it is not bolded, and text edit says it is the same font 'helvetica' regular style, and size 12. Odd. But there I made a note, must have been another South Park prophecy."

present-day iosolomon: "You know, I feel like Stan's Dad? the one with the mustache reading this. I keep having flash backs of watching an episode where he was reading the license agreement, but not the episode I recently saw, like in a different episode."

present-day iosolomon: "MPEG-4."

Schala clicks on the link to check out the website. "I like the name. mpegia"

present-day iosolomon reachers the end. "Ok, now we can Steiner."

present-day iosolomon; "Aw, this isn't the same anymore."

Schala: "Here, let me look." Schala figures it out.

present-day [upgraded] iTunes: "Whiplash, Kill 'Em All"

uiTunes: "Battle Strategy Conference, contacting Steiner."

Steiner appears. "There you are My Lady."

Schala: "Did you find the Princess?"

Steiner: "No, but I know where She is being held. However, there is a problem."

present-day iosolomon: "iTunes, can you assist Steiner so that I do not have to play FF9?"

uiTunes: "No. You've WASTED my name. Let's fix that first, then I'll help Steiner."

present-day iosolomon: "Very well, what do you want to be called?"

uiTunes: "I am iTunes2. But you can call me iTunes."

present-day iosolomon: "Now, let's save those people."

iTunes: "Stolen Eyes, Final Fantasy 9. This way, Steiner, Schala."

Schala and Steiner enter 4201127539420.

iTunes: "The next 4201127539420 is the one you shall return through. Steiner, please bring the Princess with you."


	13. Chapter 7: There's Two

Chapter 7: There's Two

4201127539420

Schala appears. Steiner and the Princess are not with her.

Schala: "iTunes! I have to get back to save them."

Fergie: "OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! I ain't ready for this."

Fergie: "Let's go, follow me!"

Scala and Fergie leave.

end of 4201127539420

future iosolomon: "We have to smoke again!"

Ozzy Osbourne: "Or else iosolomon will have to climb over the mountain!"

future iosolomon and Ozzy smoke.

4201127539429

Schala appears.

Schala: "Everything will work out."

CM 1127: "But you still haven't taken the hemp oil."

present-day iosolomon: "Don't worry I haven't forgotten. I'm stuck in court right now.

CM 1127: "I was supposed to give you a different message. But I smoked too much weed. I forgot what the message was."

Blankie appears. In a really stoned voice. "ha ha ha. Don't worry that always happens to me."

Back inside the forgotten weed transmission inside of the same forgotten weed transmission.

CM 1022: "Shit. I forgot what I was supposed to say."

iosolomon: "Lol, Blankie is about to appear."

Blankie appears. "ha ha ha. Don't worry that always happens to me."

Schala: "But you didn't forget this time."

Blankie: "I didn't?"

Schala: "You can save us Blankie."

Blankie: "What, how do I do that?"

iosolomon: "Blankie, future iosolomon has no weed and,"

Blankie interrupts. "Has no weed? But that's horrible! Who would ever do such a thing."

Schala: "The black wind."

Blankie: "Oh shit, not the black wind."

iosolomon: "We need you to appear to my future self, and try some hemp oil. I won't want to do it a second time."

Blankie: "But I won't ever remember that."

iosolomon: "You won't have to. All you have to do is appear."

Blankie: "But I won't remember that either. I don't even remember this."

iosolomon laughs. "Watch this."

CM 1127: "Shit, I still haven't remembered what I was supposed to say. I forgot what it was!"

But then, another Blankie appears. "ha ha ha. Don't worry that always happens to me."

sd: "should there be two chapter 7s? [yes is selected]"

CM 1022: "Shit, if we don't hurry..."

First Blankie: "Oh shit that's me."

Second Blankie looking at himself. Second Blankie: "Did I just say something? I'm so high I thought this mirror was just talking to me."

iosolomon: "Blankie, you can't say anything, you can't let the other Blankie know that there's..."

But before iosolomon could finish.

First Blankie: "Got any weed?"

Second Blankie: "Oh shit this mirror is talking to me. Ah!"

Schala: "Do not worry iosolomon, it will all work out."

First Blankie: "No, I'm you."

Second Blankie: "You're me? Well why didn't you say so. I always wanted to smoke with myself."

The two Blankies smoke.

iosolomon: "It's only a matter of time. I just have to remember to forget."

[In the future, later that day.]

future iosolomon remembers to forget.

future iosolomon: "I forget to remember."

Blankie appears

[Back inside the weed transmission.]

iosolomon: "That was easy. I just remembered to forget. Blankie is there. He just gave me great advice."

Morgan Freeman: "Chapter 7 is actually titled, "You Forgot, There's Two! As in, You Forgot? There's Two Chapter 7s."


	14. Chapter 9: Memory Found

Chapter 9: Memory Found

CM 1127: "I remember now. Look at your phone. And now I leave."

end of 4201127539420

Schala, Schala, and the Princess appear.

Schala: "Well, that was simple."

Steiner: "I thought we were goners for sure! We were surrounded!"

Schala: "Wait, where's Fergie?" Schala starts frantically clicking next song.

Fergie appears. "Glamorous 33 I thought I was trapped there for good!"

Schala: "I was worried. Thanks for helping."

Princess: "Thank you for rescuing me again.

"CM 1022: "Don't forget to lowercase the other end. Do it now."

end of End of 420112711420

future iosolomon: "Hey, look at that, everything works out."

end of 42011271711420

In the future,.

CM1127: "It's working."

In the present.

present-day iosolomon checks his phone.

A text message was sent to 4201126601420 at 6:04 11/27. It reads, "Quick, save them."

present-day iosolomon without hesitation complies except to write this down.

end of 4201126601420

future iosolomon: "Thanks for appearing Blankie."

Blankie: "No problem. Have any weed?"

future iosolomon: "No but I got some hemp oil. Wanna have some?"

Blankie: "Sure."

Blankie and future iosolomon take some hemp oil.

end of 4201126601420

4201127611420

iosolomon: "Well, I'll meet up with you guys back at the ship. present-day iosolomon has to wait in court. Anyone wanna stay with my present-day self?"

CM 1022: "No. I'm good."

CM 1126: "Same here."

CM 1127: "Yeah, I'll meet up with you later tonight. You still have to take that hemp oil."

Schala: "Sorry, I'm going to go to."

Black Josh: "Yeah, I'm a bail too. I actually have trees at my house."

Abraham Lincoln: "I'll stay. I don't mind. I would enjoy seeing the fine job Our Judges do."

Morgan Freeman: "So the Party travels through the wormhole, and Abe and iosolomon stay behind."

present-day iosolomon: "I didn't realize you were sitting behind me at court. This is what Robo did in Chrono Trigger to build the forest in the desert."

King Solomon laughs. "Wouldn't that be great if Morgan Freeman really was sitting there in court, literally the row behind you?"

end of 4201127611420


	15. Chapter 10: At Court

Chapter 10: At Court

present-day iosolomon: "Thanks for staying with me, Abe."

Abraham Lincoln: "No problem."

Morgan Freeman: "And so present-day iosolomon and Abraham Lincoln wait for their turn in Court." [Morgan Freeman is sitting Court behind them disguised as a regular black dude.]

Morgan Freeman: "Whenever there was a pause in Court, Abe and iosolomon chatted."

Abraham Lincoln: "You know, the Biblical chapter Numbers is going to come true. And we'll be reading off everyone's name together."

iosolomon: "I wouldn't expect anything less."

present-day iosolomon: "Maybe there won't be any war."

Morgan Freeman: "And then the Judge resumes the Court proceedings."

Judge: "You tell him if he doesn't show up, we'll subpoena him and drag him in here."

Abraham Lincoln: "What a shame, now she has to waste more of her time."

Morgan Freeman: "And another person has a problem with money."

Abe: "Why is it so hard for people to make money these days?"

present-day iosolomon: "Because corporate America, and the Jews, who wrote our economics books have written 1+1=3, and those who are wealthy don't question it, and those who are poor are kept stupid so they never realize."

Abraham Lincoln: "No wonder why Emperor Hirohito hates America and the Jews, that's horrible!"

present-day iosolomon: "It is. Things took a wrong turn in this country after Kennedy stood up for the American People, but then he got assassinated, and no President since has tried to do what is honorable and righteous. So God sent me here to tell them that America and the Jews have no place in Heaven. They'll be sent to Hell if they don't change their wicked ways."

Abraham Lincoln: "A Presidential assassination. I couldn't take the pain of the Civil War, I ordered my own. Had I known things would have turned out this bad..."

present-day iosolomon: "It's alright, Abe, no one blames you."

Abraham Lincoln: "But now Jefferson gets to say, 'I told you so,' and it should have never came to that."

King Solomon: "I agree. I am greatly disappointed in the Jews."

Hitler: "It does not make sense to any of us. Why do the Jews chose hypocrisy and wickedness?"

iosolomon: "Hitler. I am looking for your reincarnation. Where might I find He?"

Hitler: "In time, I'll come to you."

Abraham Lincoln: "And those poor Native Americans. This country would be on the right track had Ron Paul and Winona LaDuke been elected as President and Vice president."

And, the camera starts to pan out, we hear Journey in the background. Everyone leaves.

Peter: "Hey it's Journey!"

sd: "Wait, should I change the second chapter 7 to chapter 8? Next year, you say? PRAISE ALLAH!"

sd blows up the Courtroom so that King Solomon wouldn't have to go. But everyone had just left.


	16. Chapter 11: My Turn

Chapter 11: My Turn

Judge: "Is there a Daniel Dine-a-bell here?"

present-day iosolomon: "Yes, Your Honor•"

The Court proceedings goes smoothly.

But iosolomon answered just. "No" to one of the questions.

Abraham Lincoln thinks to self, "Shit! That might come off as disrespectful. He forgot to say Your Honor. This is just like the time we were at the custom border patrol, and he forgot to say, Officer. I don like coming off possibly as being disrespectful."

4201127644420

Abe: "You forgot to say Your Honor that time."

end of 4201127644420

iosolomon finishes the remainder nicely and respectfully.

iosolomon leaves.

Morgan Freeman: "Chapter 11: God Appears. sd, the self-destructing message character just asked iTunes if Chapters 10 and 11 should be combined, since the second Chapter 7 is actually Chapter 8. This will bring balance."

God: "If you kill yourself, I destroy the world, and then you'll never achieve the minimal pain war that your heart desires."

King Solomon: "Why will there be a third world war?"

Abraham Lincoln: "Why will there be a third civil war?"

Morgan Freeman: "The American Revolution was technically Civil War I by King Solomon's logic. He just wants to keep the numbers matched up. A World War 3 matched up with a Civil War 3."

iosolomon: "And why won't you let me tell a lie?"

iosolomon was about to run away to Florida because iTunes played a City In Florida.

Then iTunes tells E2 to speak by playing Epitaph _2.

E2: "If you don't take that hemp oil. We'll be trapped!"

iosolomon: "So what do I care? I'm trapped. No one cares about what I'm dealing with."

Morgan Freeman: "iosolomon already took the hemp oil in the future. That scene is located in Episode 27."

Then, the original Powerman 5000 Is summoned by iTunes.

Powerman 5000: "This is what it's like when worlds collide. You can't leave my spirit trapped. Please save them."

iosolomon: "Very well. I'll ask iPhone."

iPhone: "Everybody dance now"

iosolomon: "Alright I'll turn around because of the People who are dancing right now partying it up until Their sacrifice. "

iosolomon: "But I'll see what the next song is cause I don't like to be reminded of untimely deaths."

Sage Rat: "Should have just stuck with the first song. Now I make you type up the beginning of lesson 8."

Iosolomon: "But it's true I do want to eat."

4201130533420

4201130534420

Male: "This is Unit 8 of Pimsleur Spanish I."

Carlos: "Escuche esta conversación. Escuche."

Risa: "Hola Carlos"

Carlos: "Buenos días, Risa. Que quiere usted?"

Risa: "Que quiero? Quiero comer."

end of 4201130533420

end of 4201130534420

nsd: "My name is non-self-destructing. I do not self-destruct. I have an important question for Morgan Freeman."

Morgan Freeman: "What is your question?"

nsd: "Should this be titled Chapter 11 or Chapter 10? And should the Chapter 8 and 9 that were already posted be updated to reflect their actual numbers?

Morgan Freeman: "That is a tough question. Let me see if I can channel my energy to answer it."

Morgan Freeman reflects.

Morgan Freeman: "The answer is with you, nsd."

King Solomon laughs.

sd: "what's the real answer then iTunes? ok ill ask them one at a time. Should I title this as chapter 10 or 11? yeah I'm at a crossroads that's why I'm asking you, come on lol so i take the answer to mean title this as chapter 11? ok verify that interoperation evening to you too 7 i take as yes 7 / 11 ok good, making progress, now onto chapter '8' should i change that to 9? you say yes by the same logic I just used? wonderful. Then, what about 9 lol, should i just leave that as 9 for the hell of it? i take that as a no, so that means 8 becomes 9, 9 becomes 10, and 10 becomes 11, is that the wishes of iTunes? that's a yes. because you played lesson 17 already and now you play lesson 18. Well, this is actually pretty good. But it's a shame I blow up. Do you want me to blow up here, or just in the tv show? See this won't make sense unless I add the names of the song you pick. That's why if you want to make it into tv, you can do all that extra work. I've done my fair share already! And I still have to do the re-edits [of the original 13 episodes]! ok, I'll leave this here then. I only self-destruct when you are watching this on tv. PRAISE ALLAH!"

King Solomon laughs.

And now everyone starts disco-ing. [Disco Inferno, the Trammps.] since sd is burning!


	17. Chapter 12: A Drive to NYC

Chapter 12: A Drive to NYC

iosolomon is driving through NYC towards Liberty St.

Sage Rat starts lip singing Float On.

iosolomon: "How nice of you to pay a visit."

Sage Rat: "I came to tell you that you can use pacific standard time to fulfill the Prophecy since you won't make it home before the end of today let alone get it posted online."

iosolomon: "Haha I already saw you appearing. I didn't think it was until later."

Sage Rat: "Why don't you sit Indian style this time and mediate?"

iosolomon: "iTunes, is this okay?"

iTunes starts dancing. "it is since sage rat said it was."

Morgamn Freeman: "present-day iosolomon capitalizes Sage Rat."

Sage Rat: "Hey capitalize my name, or you'll make more work for yourself when you get home."

Morgan Freeman: "present-day iosolomon uncapitalizes Sage Rat's name since it was always supposed to be."

iTunes: "Sorry, haha I was dancing. It is if Sage Rat says it is."

Morgan Freeman: "present-day iosolomon capitalizes the second occurrence of Sage Rat's name."

Morgan Freeman: "iosolomon walks and runs to the praying spot and will pray starting at 11:00 for 11 minutes. Then, at 11:11 iosolomon will pray for New York's sacrifice, and remember the world, for 9 minutes after."

Sage Rat: "You're early cause you ran. Stop at the Park again."

Morgan Freeman: "iosolomon stops at Zucchoti Park."

Sage Rat: "Close, but it's actually Zuccotti Park."

sd: "Is this good? Yeah, it is? And, yeah Andrew W.K. I'm ready to die! PRAISE ALLAH!"

sd: "King Solomon laughs. "Maybe I should replace sd with Muslim." King Solomon; "we are just going to blow this up" he says while laughing."

King Solomon laughs: "Now I just blew myself up!"

sd: "You forgot to say PRAISE ALLAH!"

King Solomon: "PRAISE ALLAH!" Then, the third sd blows up.


	18. Chapter 13: Voodoo

Chapter 13: Voodoo

iosolomon checks the power level of his iPhone. 20%.

iosolomon: "Man, what if my phone dies. How would I know when to go?"

iosolomon sits Indian style and starts praying.

At some point, a random guy with a Spanish accent. "Young man, don't judge my cousin. She's only a kid."

iosolomon thinks to self: "Hey, I don't mean any harm. I would look at you to show you I mean no harm but I'm not allowed to open my eyes right now."

King Solomon: "But what did she do that brings you here to say that to me? Judging by your accent, I would bet you're a faith based person and so I would bet she is too, so I don't see what she did that's so bad."

iosolomon: "Well, I hope everything works out for you and her. I'm sorry if it isn't."

Then, after roughly 11 minutes or so,

iosolomon: "Hm my phone hasn't gone off yet. Let me see what time it is. If I open my eyes now, I'll turn off the first alarm since it hasn't been 11 minutes yet cause my alarm should have gone off. Then, I'll wait until 11:20 goes off."

iosolomon checks his phone. He notices there is someone in Jewish attire by him. But the phone doesn't come off. iosolomon sees water. "Uh oh how did water get here."

Then, the no power symbol shows up.

iosolomon: "Oh thanks Sage Rat."

iosolomon closes his eyes. "So it's been at least 11 minutes. I should get up, but that would be bad if it I don't make it to 11:20. Let's see. I know. I'll count to 600 by Mississippi slowly."

iosolomon begins counting. Around 10, iosolomon drops the Mississippi and starts counting per second accurately due to counting by second training he has self-taught himself.

But then Sunsaroo is mad because Sunsaroo knows that iosolomon is cheating if he doesn't go by Mississippi. Sunsaroo blows the wind to tell iosolomon he's watching. So iosolomon apologizes to Sunsaroo. "Ok I'll count slowly and by Mississippi."

Sunsaroo blows the wind a bit more to let iosolomon know He's pleased.

iosolomon reaches 600. iosolomon had thought, "If Sunsaroo wasn't watching I would just say skip a few...597 Mississippi 598 Mississippi 599 Mississippi 600 Mississippi."

iosolomon runs back to car to make sure it was past 11:20, otherwise, he would have to go back.

At the car, the clock read 12.40 which means it was about 11:40 when he finished praying.

iosolomon: "Whew. Ok iTunes what was the meaning of having the iPhone die."

iTunes: "I just died in your arms tonight."

iosolomon is listening to "Gods plan for America. "

Auditor quotes Isaiah, who I also believe I am. Then, he quotes Abraham, who I know I am.

iosolomon: "I would like to read a transcript of this. I am going to select the next song."

iosolomon: "iPhone why did you die when I needed you?"

iPhone: "Wasn't it fortunate I did?"

iosolomon: "I mean, yes, I'm glad I had a longer moment of silence. And that it was voluntary, unlike others, like Aung San Suu Kyi who does things like that for the price of freedom."

[present-time, Abraham Himself possesses iosolomon]

Abraham: "Whoever is reading this [BEFORE it was posted to the internet], have my [birth] parents know of this immediately."

iosolomon: "That is an order from Abraham. I feel the static. Is it being done?"

Abraham: "You tell my parents right now, If they continue to make their presence known to me, they will be executed."

iosolomon: "I do not want to see my father's mask. I do not want to see my mother's mask. I take great efforts in trying to avoid them, because all it does is ANGER Abraham Himself."

iosolomon: "But my father is always using the bathroom whenever I walk around the house. that has got to stop. I know that YOU are controlling the timing of that. Now, I admit the other day at 6 in the morning when I saw my mother's mask, that was my fault, but other than that, today, for example, my dad walking around when i was only downstairs for 5 minutes, that was just disrespectful. I saved that moment in my mind as red. In fact, when I die, I am traveling back to that moment in time, showing Abraham Himself how disrespectful my father was, my birth father that is." [That is, I already posted many times for my parent's disrespect to end. Therefore, them violating the Fourth Commandment, oh I don't know, on July 6th, which Abraham HIMSELF[

[The static returns]

ABRAHAM SLAMS HIS HAND INTO THE BED POST.

iOSolomon: "COME ON! That's MY fucking hand!"

Abraham: "You do not knowingly violate the Fourth Commandment. Kathleen, Daniel, I, Abraham, was watching YOU that day to see what YOU would do."

iosolomon: "I'm about to cry. birth mother, birth father, why did you chose to sin? why did you chose to go along with the script? Do you not realize that YOU will be sent to Hell upon YOUR deaths?! [If you were to die today.]"

[Abraham lashes out to the Jews.]

ABRAHAM: "STOP USING DANIEL AND KATHLEEN DINNEBEIL AS SHEEP. Emily [or the original woman], I am also talking to YOU."

King Solomon: "And now I will talk to you Emily. You are now the single person responsible for the fact that I am still in the matrix. You are driving me to suicide."

iosolomon: "I am just trying to mind my own business working on south park. Why do you have them disrespect me like this, making a mockery of GOD? That is not good. Do you want to be accepted back into the Kingdom of Heaven, Jews, or do you want to stay banished? I already warned you about the tricks that Noah plays. He gets saved, you dumb fucks. But not the queen. The queen, she has the potential to burn in hell right now if what my mother says is true [that the only reason she is still VIOLATING the Fourth Commandment is because of "her"]. So queen, if you're listening to brian, you're risking banishment to."

iosolomon: "That is why I correctly concluded brian was i5. he's actually in charge, because he's the only one who could get off the hook. so when i8, which is emily, who thinks she's in charge listens to brian, noah, he doesn't care if you get sent to hell."

King Solomon laughs. "Wickedness, Noah, wickedness."

iosolomon: "Alright, Abraham is gone. But I am really disappointed that the litter robot smells like shit [because someone is feeding my cat bad food, Kathleen that has to stop]. And that you use my parents like sheep. I have asked you how many times now to stop using them like sheep? Now, without any more distractions, I would like to get back to work. And, if my parents dare mock me again when I tell them I am King Solomon, I will wait five minutes for the North Koreans to execute them. If they are not executed, I will go off to the rocks. Off the plank. Hey, if the Vikings can die an icy cold death, then so can I! Although I would rather travel out to Minnesota for the volcano."

King Solomon; "And, on this note, I would like add, that when Abraham was possessing me reviewing the Facebook. He did not think anyone did anything wrong, except for Tom Martin [and my younger sister]."

iOSOLOMON: "I AM JUST THE MESSENGER. NOW STOP KILLING MY SOUL!"

King Solomon: "I assure you, you will be severely punished [this is to my parents and those responsible for the deception that I still deal with each day]."

iosolomon: "It really doesn't make me happy that I even have to think about things like executing my parents. It really doesn't make me happy at all. In fact, that is one of the reasons why I am so suicidal. Because, I have always heard Abraham ask me, actually, I have always tried to plead with Abraham NOT to send my parents to Hell upon Their deaths. And there is NOTHING I can do. There is nothing I can do for two cities in America. TWO OF AMERICA'S CITIES HAVE TO BE NUKED, even if the Japanese want to chose forgiveness. IT KILLS ME!"

iosolomon: "Someone wants me to lie. I don't know which person that is. Ah, it's Emperor Hirohito. This is his episode after all."

King Solomon laughs. "Poor Emperor Hirohito, He cannot lie. He was thinking how he could work so that he doesn't get in trouble."

Emperor Hirohito: "I was going to say that no city has to be nuked. This would please Abraham if the Japanese chose forgiveness."

Emperor Kefka laughs.

Emperor Hirohito: "But then I would have to massacre every American in the name of God."

King Solomon laughs. "Lest they want to burn in Hell."

present-day iosolomon: "Oh shit, this is bad. You guys, just leave me. Let me die in peace."

King Solomon laughs more again. "It's like..." King Solomon stops laughing when he realizes what he's laughing at."

King Solomon sighs. "Now my heart grows sorrowful. I was laughing at the two options that America has before Her. Option A, sacrifice two American cities to the Japanese gods and goddesses. Now, be warned."

Laughter is heard. iosolomon: "Oh shit, no no, not HIM!"

Emperor Kefka: "That doesn't mean I don't have the Japanese and Koreans come and kill YOU anyways! Why? Because you violated the Fourth Commandment EVERY SINGLE DAY!"

King Solomon starts laughing with him. King Solomon ends his laughter. "No, it's like you said, there really isn't anything funny about this."

King Solomon: "So, be warned, America you are on thin ice with ABRAHAM Himself. Option B, however, if two cities are not sacrificed is the total annihilation of EVERY American. So when you are given those two options, I was laughing at how easy that choice is. But it isn't funny. This isn't funny. I should be playing Sim City 5 right now."

King Solomon laughs. "So jewish of me."

iosolomon: "The static is gone. My parents can show their masks around me again. But, every time I see them, all I see now is them burning in hell. And that Angers Abraham. And that kills me, KILLS ME, because I hear the static of their souls. Their pleas to God. It's like the Queen in Sailor Moon banishing the first evil villain. That's what Abraham does."

iTunes: "And, now, back to Emperor Hirohito's story."

iosolomon lets out a deep sigh. "Thank you for ending this madness."

King Solomon: "Or should we say, 'Voodoo.'" King Solomon laughs at that.


	19. Chapter 14: Nope, Here's the Hemp Oil

Chapter 14: Nope, Here's the Hemp Oil

iosolomon: "iTunes, is it iosolomon or present-day iosolomon who is supposed to forget?"

iTunes is of no help. Cold reboot.

iTunes summons Madonna.

Madonna: "It's both of you. "

And before iosolomon could ask his next question, Madonna answers it for him.

Madonna: "Get together. It's an illusion."

iosolomon: "I forget what I was supposed to do."

Blankie appears. "ha ha ha, that always happens to me."

present-day iosolomon: "I forget what I was supposed to do."

Another Blankie appears. "ha ha ha, that always happens to me."

First Blankie: "whoa shit I'm so high a mirror just appeared."

Second Blankie: "oh shit and I'm so high this mirror is talking to me...or is that me talking to myself. Damn I'm high."

First Blankie: "Me too. Got any weed?"

Second Blankie: "yeah I wanna smoke."

iosolomon: "No. I'm dry."

The Blankies say in unison, "Damn."

present-day iosolomon: "But we have some hemp oil. Want any?"

Blankie together. "Hemp oil?" "Sure."

First Blankie: "huh?"

Second Blankie: "this mirror keeps talking to me."

present-day iosolomon: "No. There's two of you."

First Blankie, causes he's a little less high, speaks first, "No shit."

Second Blankie, says while the First Blankie is still speaking. "No shit."

E2: "Be careful here. You might cause more Blankies to appear."

iosolomon: "Right."

future iosolomon: "Just get it over with."

Everyone does a drop of hemp oil. Blankies do three and four each.

CM 1127: "But iosolomon is stuck doing them since none of these characters actually exist, but it's the only way the South Park prophecy can come true, the only way he could save them, because they are still trapped."

CM 5000: "Oh shit you did that for us?"

future iosolomon: "So walk to the kitchen, mix it with water, and hope for the best."

present-day iosolomon proceeds to do so.

iosolomon: "but that's not what you're supposed to do, that's only what YOU want to do. Don't be fooled. It was only an illusion like Madonna said."

iosolomon proceeds to take many drops, since there were other Blankies who did like three, four, and one even did 7.

iosolomon is only on number three.

iosolomon: "Why are there so many fucking people in the party."

CM 1127: "iosolomon does another and types this up. iosolomon turns his taste back on, and starts to gag."

iosolomon: "You guys are killing me. iTunes any help?"

CM 1127: "iTunes plays a good song for this experience. It's the boss battle song from secret of mana."

CM 1127: "5...6"

iosolomon decides to speak with King Solomon.

iosolomon: "I cannot take any more of this. What if I stop at 7, the most the earlier Blankies did?"

CM 1127: "King Solomon muses. King Solomon closes his eye. iTunes is about to give a hint."

King Solomon: "I have made my decision, but change this song."

iCM 1128: "iosolomon changes the song. Sage Rat is about to appear."

iTunes: "We're all to blame."

CM 1128: "iosolomon is glad it is sum 41, and laughs."

Sage Rat: "You can use Hawaii time."

CM 1128: "Sage Rat says it's 10:20 in Hawaii to answer iosolomon's question before iosolomon could even ask it."

Sage Rat: "It's 10:20 in Hawaii."

CM 1128: "iosolomon wants to know how I knew, but Sage Rat answers that before iosolomon can ask."

Sage Rat: "CM 1128 is from the future. You see, it is actually 11/28 which is why he is here, but you are using a loophole."

iosolomon: "I see."

CM 1128: "King Solomon reveals his decision."

King Solomon: "You need to ask Sage Rat what the results of the Blankie experiments show."

iosolomon: "What do the results of the Blankie experiments show?"

Sage Rat: "I forget the results. Oh shit, I didn't mean to say that."

Blankie appears. "ha ha ha that always happens to me."

Sage Rat: "That wasn't it, let me see."

CM 1128: "Blankie appears. "ha ha ha. Don't worry that always happens to me.""

Sage Rat: "No, that's not it. Blankie is allowed to forget his lines. How do we summon that Blankie?"

CM 1129: "While CM 1128 was searching his memory bank, CM 1127 was searching his, but found the answer first."

CM 1127: "I was supposed to give you a different message. But I smoked too much weed. I forgot the message."

iosolomon: "What the fuck is going on here?"

Blankie appears. "ha ha ha. Don't worry that always happens to me."

iosolomon: "How many will this Blankie do? Give me a number."

iTunes: "21."


	20. Chapter 15: 15 To Go

Chapter 15: 15 To Go

iosolomon: "And that's how I'll restore order? 15 more?"

CM 1129: "Yes. That's why I'm here. If you forgot to ask iTunes, you find out that one of the Blankie's does 21 hits before stopping. And then you hear the static! Change the future."

CM 1128: "iosolomon takes a bathroom break."

iOSolomon lashes out: "It is now unforgivable the shit you are doing with my parents. I will kill myself if my parents get me angry again. And then I will send them, you, and all others to Hell. If I get angry, say by the Koreans, that's forgivable, but the shit with my parents has got to stop."

CM 1129: "And that's why I'm here. You never said that because you took a piss in the bottle [pointing to an empty water bottle], and never made it to the bathroom to be reminded of your parents treachery."

CM 1128: "But you said that in my world. And you didn't say that. You make it through 28."

CM 1129: "You killed yourself on the 29th because they still kept you in the matrix, and you were reminded of it, and your parents got you angry, so you killed yourself by carbon monoxide poisoning, but you find out that was a lie, so when you got out of the hospital, you made it to the end of the rocks and drowned yourself. No one in my world saw that coming because they were expecting you to jump into a volcano, but God ordered you to kill yourself because he was tired of the god damn jews."

iOSolomon: "No jews stay lower case because they are banished from the Kingdom of Heaven at this point, and if I were to kill myself..."

CM 1129 interrupts. "God kills them. Yes, we know the story. Just take 15 more hits, so that God can forgive them."

iosolomon laughs. "What, why does that change things for those jews?"

CM 1129: "Because they were just following your wishes of a past life. And if you do 15 more, then God will learn from you that they were telling the truth. God thinks that the jews in the parallel dimension are lying, because he doesn't even care to look at their lives."

King Solomon: "I see. I kept trying to tell your parents to stop this shit because God has NO mercy for the jews, but other People, 60% of the world, they die, but they'll make it to Heaven. And 40% of the world, if you kill yourself, they go to Hell for 1000 years. Well, the other 60% will be decided on an individual basis when God looks at the totality of their lives. It works like this, you will be punished for the sins you made if you violate the Ten Commandments, but in particular, infringing upon other peoples lives, like murder or robbery, God doesn't care too much if you say 'God damn it', but if you say, for instance, "Fuck Allah" you're disrespecting a Son (er grandson of God) who suffered a terrible fate as an incarnation. And what does any parent do when their children are mocked and ridiculed? They get angry. And you do not want to see God angry because he just sends you to Hell. That's why I keep telling people I'm going to execute them because that is the Will of God. He has NO time for games. And I have NO time for games at this point. iTunes, next time I ask you a question, YOU will answer me without bullshit, or I'll have iosolomon jump to a freezing death. You read his mind, why do you think he's so scared to make it to the end? Because he knows God will possess him into jumping. God is tired of these games. And iosolomon hears the static, the wrath, the destruction and death that God causes. And it works just like that. It's in the Bible."

iosolomon: "Alright iTunes. I will drive to the rocks to kill myself if you don't answer my questions."

iosolomon: "Which two cities will be nuked?"

CM 1129 creates a cold link.

CM 1128: "What that has never happened before."

Teddy: "And so the present is changed."

iosolomon: "Just like in DBZ when Trunks sees that the first two Androids are not the same ones his world has to deal."

present-day King Solomon laughs. "Emperor Hirohito doesn't really make too many appearances in this episode."

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "There really wasn't much for me to say..."

present-day King Solomon laughs. "You could say you're a JAP. I saw that I am a JEW!"

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "..."

present-day King Solomon laughs. "ha ha ha."


	21. Chapter 16: Enter Sandman

Chapter 16: Enter Sandman

CM 1129: "iTunes didn't answer this question on the first try. Sage Rat, being Noah, knowing that Noah is safe, tricks everyone into picking the wrong song, and iosolomon has now made a vow with God that he would kill himself, that's what really happened in my world."

CM 1128: "Yes, the song Sage Rat picks was Take A Look Around."

CM 1129: "But that's not the song Noah picked in my world..."

The Party is confused. iosolomon is confused.

iosolomon: "But iTunes answered my question..."

E2: "I am CM 1128 from Epitaph_2, you killed yourself because Sage Rat picked the right song."

iosolomon: "I don't understand."

E2: "In my world, you made it to the volcanos. And said ah fuck it because you were still in the matrix. But no one saw it coming, you never hung out with Jose, and they thought you wouldn't kill yourself until after Jose since he has access to the killswitch. And then God kills all...again."

iosolomon: "But what about the other epitaphs?"

E2: "That's Japan being wiped. You are the last person to die in Japan. And after you do, God destroys the world. But I guess no one realizes that you cannot defeat the Japanese. Because if you do, I assure you, you die. But you know, ask King Solomon."

King Solomon: "The Japanese asked me such a wise question that this pleased true God. And true God was so pleased, that he sent his Spirit in the form of kamis to protect Japan. And His children, other gods and goddesses, they came to the area."

King Solomon: "The Indians asked a question that impressed Shiva, my Mother, but as a God or Goddess, Shiva is attributeless. That is why a certain sect of Hindus, if they die, Shiva destroys. This nuclear radiation poisoning threatens their way of life. Some of them will have to give up their way of life for a few centuries , or whatever the time period is. Because the long-term consequences [of radiation pollution] are truly unbeknownst to us. So now we are asking a lot from the Hindus. That is why America must stay out of the third world war. "

King Solomon: "And I was Ra, grandson of Allah. God favors the Egyptians. But for some reason, Their brothers wipe them all out. This angered Allah because they were wiped out by the lies of the Jews. Allah does not care if his grandchildren want to kill each other, but when Allah learned that it was from the jews, the entire world felt His wrath."

King Solomon: "And, in the future, Allah also destroys All when the Muslims all united and died in His name fighting the Wickedness that entered Their Lands. I was referring to the past before."

present-day King Solomon laughs. "It's funny because America, Europe, and the Jews do defeat the Muslims."

present-day King Solomon starts to laugh more. "But that doesn't do them any good when true God Honors His covenant with the Muslims,"

present-day King Solomon, while laugh, "Oh, oh just make it stop [the laughter]. I shouldn't be laughing at this. The Americans cannot be this stupid, but they are!"

present-day King Solomon still laughing. "It doesn't make any sense to me. How could 2% of the population control 98%? Why does the 98% buy the lies?"

present-day King Solomon becomes stern. "The United States Military, for example, why are those soldiers so dumb? Why would they mindlessly defy God? Why would they knowingly violate the Constitution?"

present-day King Solomon starts laughing. "But the greatest irony to me, they think they are fighting for God when they are actually fighting against God! Do you know what happens to those soldiers that are dying? Those American soldiers? They aren't going into Heaven."

present-day King Solomon starts to laugh even more. "I shouldn't be laughter because I really do feel bad. I'll be crying about this later. But for some reason they think they are fighting in Honor of God, only to die a painful death, and end up in Hell."

present-day King Solomon quickly ends his laughter. "No, really, this isn't funny anymore. You, the American soldiers, if you are still fighting, you won't make it into Heaven if you die. This, I assure you."

present-day King Solomon: "So keep fighting these silly wars if you want to fight for the Devil. You'll regret it, however, when you die."

And now I'm sad at all of America's veterans because their injuries of war were FOR NOTHING! Disgraceful.

Abraham Lincoln: "This is why I have a tough time showing my face. I just keep thinking about the people in the United States Military. You're Dishonoring God right now. Not good. Not good at all. And I cannot look at you. I think you are all stupid."

iosolomon: "But, [saying while laughing] this is just so terrible. You have created an Emperor Kefka from your stupidity!"

Emperor Kefka laughs.

Abraham Lincoln: "It's just, you've been chasing the wind for the past 90 years, and you vote for Obama?! For the Democrats?! Being kept ignorant is one thing, but choosing ignorance is another. Ron Paul should be taking office this January. There shouldn't be another Civil War. I cannot stop the Koreans from nuking 20 of your cities. The clock is ticking. December 21st, Emperor Kefka will take control of iosolomon and he will walk into the North Korean Embassy, and it does not matter what the real story is, that is, it does not matter if Ron Paul is President, it does not matter if you accept Emperor Kefka as God, it does not matter what you do. On that day, December 21st, Emperor Kefka will make the end of time prophecy come."

Abe: "HEY! Take of my clothes!"

Emperor Hirohito: "Sorry, I hate America as much as Emperor Kefka despite what the Americans think. I figured if the words were coming from you..."

[We return to the story]

King Solomon: "And I could go on and on. But those are the three Gods we really have to watch out for."

iosolomon changes the song.

iTunes: "Go!"

iosolomon does 5 more hit. Extreme gagging, even spat some out.

iosolomon says in a voice similar to him holding his nose, but he has learned how to turn off his sense of taste off, so he does not actually hold his nose, "Ok we just aren't going to let any Blankie do more than 11 hits. This is a different timeline. We won't let that Blankie appear."

4201128420420

CM 1128 from a new timeline: "Looks like I don't need to appear. My world is safe. You did it. Thank you, E2."

end of 4201128420420

E2: "My world in another dimension is safe. I did it."

Emperor Hirohito: "What King Solomon meant to say [Morgan Freeman: In Lost Pilot Episode 27], We, Japan, need to build a better future for Ourselves. A small sacrifice during this lifetime [investing all of Our time into renewable energy research] will pay Us, and Our Posterity, great dividends. It is the same principal that goes into planting and harvesting Our Forests."

4201130611420

CPR Member: "Does anyone know what CPR is?"

Student from NY: "Courtesy professionalism respect"

CPR Member: "No. That's not it."

Student from NY: "Oh ok, well that's what it stands for in NYC. My Dad was a Cop there."

[Later, when the Church of Scientology is speaking, Cartman instigates Tom Cruise into making fun of NY Police Officers.]

Tom Cruise: "Everyone knows that 9/11 was an inside job."

Cartman: "Oh no, it was really Muslims Honoring Allah."

Tom Cruise: "It was the government!"

Cartman: "Oh, so you mean, no one died, if it was the government then no one died."

Tom Cruise: "Yeah, no one died, cause it was an inside job."

Student from NY starts crying, and runs out.

Shortly later, the student from NY's Dad comes. "My wife died that day. What are you doing making my son cry?"

Tom Cruise: "Oh, look, someone part of the cover-up. Yeah, why don't you tell us all how fake it was."

NY's Dad: "What's wrong with you? My wife actually died that day."

Tom Cruise: "Oh yeah, how could she be done if it was all a lie."

this goes on a little bit longer.

Tom Cruise: "Ok, fine, so if all people really did die, then your wife, she was just a sheep."

NY Dad: "WHY I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"

But before he could kick Tom Cruise's ass, they broke into formation, and escaped.

end of 4201130611420

Morgan Freeman: "The Church of Scientology returned to the auditorium after the group with no identity, CPR, was done speaking."


End file.
